So far we’ve talked about a variety of issues that come up when observing media and the messages it sends. This section will focus on what message the media sends about clothing. The way magazines, movies, music, ads, and other sources portray the clothing that women wear is closely connected with the idea of “hotness”. Media tells us that, not only do we need to have a figure or appearance that conforms to the standard of being“hot” – but we should dress to accentuate those areas of our body that are sensual. Media subconsciously tells us that we need to reveal our bodies to appeal to men and boys. In other words, if you’ve got it…flaunt it!
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This subtle message is even present in sources that may seem “innocent” at first. For example….
These are "heroines" from popular Disney movies targeted for girls ages 3-10. D id you notice that the girls are dressed in skimpy, short, or tight, revealing clothing? And what about their leading "men"? The male characters are dressed in baggy or loose fitting clothing that covers most of their body. At first, it may be more difficult to spot the "reveal to appeal" motif because the characters are animated. But the message is there. What about movies, ads, or TV shows geared towards teenage girls? Let's see...
The pattern continues. The females are wearing clothing designed to reveal as much as possible, while the males wear clothing that covers almost everything except their faces and arms. In addition, observe their body language. The girls/women are posed sensually, bringing attention to their breast, hips, and thighs. The boys/men are posed with a relaxed, yet tough, attitude. The females' clothing and poses are inviting the men to "pursue" them, while the males poses exhibit an almost predator-like expression.
If you have on jeans, shirts, and apron…what is that saying? What if you are wearing a sweat suit or warm up suit? Skirt, blouse, and tailored jacket? White dress, and veil? Fishnet stockings, tube tops, stiletto heels? Clothes convey meanings…it is a nonverbal way of communication. It says something about who we
are, how we want people to think of us, and what we think of ourselves. So what messages are today’s styles sending? Elizabeth Cady Stanton said women's clothing is "designed to stimulate him to pursuit” . And that was in an era when women's clothing was considered as "conservative"! |
Media wants you to think that you need to dress to appeal to men. Once again it goes back to the root issue of our
sin nature. We naturally want to feel satisfied (lust of the flesh), be recognized and successful (pride of life), and
have people notice us (lust of the eyes). Big businesses understand those “lusts”and they capitalize on them by designing clothes that will feed those lusts--both by making women feel like the have to dress that way to be noticed and encouraging men to feast their eyes on women’s bodies. Because, after all, men are very easily stimulated by visual "input".
Many women don't realize this essential difference in the way men and women are "wired". They don’t understand the implications of their clothing…not only are they sending a non-verbal message with their choice of wardrboe, but the message is sending smoke signals! Ladies, you are playing with fire when it comes to certain types of clothing. It is naïve to think that clothing doesn’t cause reactions…especially unwanted ones. Please don't misunderstand me...men still have the choice of how to react to what they see, but revealing clothing creates a much stronger temptation for men than it does for women. Women react to emotional stimuli -- how people feel and relate to one another -- but men rely heavily on visual stimuli…on what they see.
sin nature. We naturally want to feel satisfied (lust of the flesh), be recognized and successful (pride of life), and
have people notice us (lust of the eyes). Big businesses understand those “lusts”and they capitalize on them by designing clothes that will feed those lusts--both by making women feel like the have to dress that way to be noticed and encouraging men to feast their eyes on women’s bodies. Because, after all, men are very easily stimulated by visual "input".
Many women don't realize this essential difference in the way men and women are "wired". They don’t understand the implications of their clothing…not only are they sending a non-verbal message with their choice of wardrboe, but the message is sending smoke signals! Ladies, you are playing with fire when it comes to certain types of clothing. It is naïve to think that clothing doesn’t cause reactions…especially unwanted ones. Please don't misunderstand me...men still have the choice of how to react to what they see, but revealing clothing creates a much stronger temptation for men than it does for women. Women react to emotional stimuli -- how people feel and relate to one another -- but men rely heavily on visual stimuli…on what they see.
The Gestalt theory says that even when we do not
see an entire image, our mind completes the picture. For example, look at the pictures to the right. There are parts of the illustrations that are missing, yet our mind automatically "completes" the picture. Ladies, we need to be careful with clothing -- especially when it comes to clothing that sends out strong signals associated with stripping or pornography…stilleto heels, leather, skimpy clothing, etc. You may not have that intention, but it creates a strong reaction in men’s minds. [Since I am not a man, I can’t describe exactly how the thought process works, but there are a couple of books that I can recommend. First of all, the book by Joshua Harris, Not Even a Hint, is written for teen boys, but is something I think girls and women should read because it helps us to understand what temptations and struggles men have in the areas of sexuality. For married women, the book “Rekindled” is very descriptive on understanding the differences between men’s and women’s thought process. |
Clothe / Put On
Many of the Scriptures that talk about clothing or what to “put on” use these phrases symbolically. It is important to study these passages as well as the verses that give us guidelines for how to dress. Here are a few:
Isaiah 61:10
I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. The garments and robes in this verse are compared with the accessories that a priest and a bride use. Both of these bring to mind the quality of purity. Salvation…righteousness….when you are dressing in the morning, remember the gifts that God has given you and the purity that He expects from you. Romans 13:14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh. We talked about the messages that clothing sends – it tells people who you are. If you are “clothed” with Jesus Christ, that tells people you are His follower! How exactly do we clothe ourselves with Christ? Read the Colossian verses to learn more! |
Matthew 6:24-31
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Don’t let clothing become your main focus. The last verse of this same chapter says “seek ye first the kingdom of God”…our priority is to put God first and glorify Him in everything we do…including our wardrobe choices Colossians 3:12 Clothes yourselves with….compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience. Does our attitude reflect God’s standards? Are you focused on others by demonstrating compassion and kindness? Are you seeking to glorify God with a humble and gentle spirit? Are you patient – with other people and with your circumstances? This is how you can “clothe yourself with Jesus Christ”! |
In these verses, scripture uses clothing as an analogy for how to live our lives acceptably before God. But what does scripture say specifically about how to dress? Rather than “revealing to appeal” or flaunting what we have, we need to dress modestly.
MODEST IS "HOTTEST"
1 Timothy 2:9-10
A key verse to consider when studying modesty in the Scriptures is 1 Timothy 2:9-10: "I timothy 2:9-10…"Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, 10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. " (If you would like to do a word study on the underlined words, you can click on them to view the definitions in a Strong's Concordance!)
Modest means “shame-fastedness”. Shamefacedness is reticence ( or bashfulness) toward men and respect toward God. It goes back to the garden of Eden when God provided the first outfit to cover them because Adam and Eve were ashamed of their nakedness .How sad it must have made our Creator to sacrifice the life of one of His creatures to cover Adam and Eve! In that act He was showing us that we needed to cover ourselves…to cover our shame.
Discreet means not drawing attention to ourselves. King James uses the word “sobriety”, meaning with soundness of mind or self-control. This does not mean we must cover ourselves from our chins to our ankles and only wear plain, dark colors! It means that the way we dress and act – in particular towards men – is to be under control.
Notice that the verse describes more than just the physical aspect of how to dress, but also how we ought to act and think. It is impossible to separate them, because our thoughts affect our actions. Modesty is a product of pure thinking and is not determined just by what you wear. You don’t become modest simply by putting on a “modest” dress.
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Modest means “shame-fastedness”. Shamefacedness is reticence ( or bashfulness) toward men and respect toward God. It goes back to the garden of Eden when God provided the first outfit to cover them because Adam and Eve were ashamed of their nakedness .How sad it must have made our Creator to sacrifice the life of one of His creatures to cover Adam and Eve! In that act He was showing us that we needed to cover ourselves…to cover our shame.
Discreet means not drawing attention to ourselves. King James uses the word “sobriety”, meaning with soundness of mind or self-control. This does not mean we must cover ourselves from our chins to our ankles and only wear plain, dark colors! It means that the way we dress and act – in particular towards men – is to be under control.
Notice that the verse describes more than just the physical aspect of how to dress, but also how we ought to act and think. It is impossible to separate them, because our thoughts affect our actions. Modesty is a product of pure thinking and is not determined just by what you wear. You don’t become modest simply by putting on a “modest” dress.
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I Corinthians 12:23
(NIV version)And the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty.
This is in the context of talking about the church and how it works together as a body, but if you think about our bodies and clothing…the “unpresentable” parts need to be treated with special care and modesty. MODESTY if this first line of defense for your purity! Modesty is an attitude of humility that seeks to please God rather than man or self. It is characterized by restraint and self-control, and dignity in dress, speech, and actions.
This is in the context of talking about the church and how it works together as a body, but if you think about our bodies and clothing…the “unpresentable” parts need to be treated with special care and modesty. MODESTY if this first line of defense for your purity! Modesty is an attitude of humility that seeks to please God rather than man or self. It is characterized by restraint and self-control, and dignity in dress, speech, and actions.
I Thessalonians 4:4-7
"That each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness"
We should be ashamed if we contribute to a man’s lustful thinking by dressing inappropriately. This is not to say that we are to blame for men’s wrong or sinful choices. But if we can prevent them from having to see things that will cause them to struggle, then we should. Remember…if you don’t give them part of the picture, then their mind will be less likely to complete it!
Since we are talking about how men think, let's hear from a guy's view of modesty.
We should be ashamed if we contribute to a man’s lustful thinking by dressing inappropriately. This is not to say that we are to blame for men’s wrong or sinful choices. But if we can prevent them from having to see things that will cause them to struggle, then we should. Remember…if you don’t give them part of the picture, then their mind will be less likely to complete it!
Since we are talking about how men think, let's hear from a guy's view of modesty.
What are some of the concepts that these guys talked about?
The type of clothes that a girl wears shows if she has respect for herself. They mentioned how necklines on shirts and jewelry can draw their eyes towards the chest area -- which them leads them to "complete the picture". They also talk about how a person's clothing says something about their reputation. In addition, the guys mention the idea of "first impressions". Finally, they also say that it isn't enough just to dress modestly, but how you carry yourself is important.
The type of clothes that a girl wears shows if she has respect for herself. They mentioned how necklines on shirts and jewelry can draw their eyes towards the chest area -- which them leads them to "complete the picture". They also talk about how a person's clothing says something about their reputation. In addition, the guys mention the idea of "first impressions". Finally, they also say that it isn't enough just to dress modestly, but how you carry yourself is important.
So what are some guidelines that we can use when choosing outfits? How can we make sure that we are dressed modestly? We can use this "MODEST" checklist with our clothing before we leave the house (or in the fitting room at the store):
M: Stretch your arms as high as possible, then lean over. Check your stomach and back to make sure no skin is showing. O: Stand in front of a mirror as you bend over. Make sure there is no cleavage visible. D: Ask yourself if the outfit is distracting in any way. Does it say, "Look at me!" or does it say, "I want to please God!" E: Check out the wording, pictures, sparkles, rhinestones, jewelry, belt, etc.. Do they draw attention to your cleavage, butt, hips, thighs or other "sensual" areas? S: Can you see through the material? Can you see any part of your bra strap or underwear? Is the outfit so tight that you can see the outline of undergarments? T: Are your shorts or skirt too short (revealing too much of your thighs)? Test this by sitting down in front of a mirror and crossing your legs. How much of your thighs can you see (you may be surprised!)? If there is a slit in the skirt, look to see how far up it goes when you are kneeling, bending, or reaching. |
For younger girls – ages 5-12-- you can use the Truth or Bare fashion tests from Dannah Gresh’s Secret Keeper book.
Other practical tips:
Start practicing modesty in dress as soon as girls are able to understand and they begin to have an interest in choosing their own clothes…don’t wait until she has cleavage and curves! Remember Peek-a-Boo and Show & Tell are great for pre-school, but is not okay for your clothing (or lack of it)!
The best weapon for modesty is…the tank top or cami! It helps cover cleavage, back, and eliminates see through issues with thin material.Another great wardrobe "staple" are leggings. You can layer them under shorts or skirts.
Have someone else check your clothes before you leave the house! Ask your husband or brother if there is anything they think a guy would find distracting.
Don’t buy based on size…base it on fit…don’t get hung up on what the tag says.
Proverbs 31 woman wore stylish clothing.The bride in Solomon used jewelry Esther spent months undergoing beauty routines. Looking your best is not wrong. but must be for the right reasons.
Go back to the heart tests from the last section – mirror test, wallet test, temple test, gratitude test…How much time and money do I spend on my clothes? Am I dressing appropriately, considering that my body is the temple of God?
Take a look at the way the girls/women are dressed in these pictures. Compare them with the MODEST guidelines above. How could they be made more modest or discreet? If a friend were thinking of buying this what might you say to them?
Other practical tips:
Start practicing modesty in dress as soon as girls are able to understand and they begin to have an interest in choosing their own clothes…don’t wait until she has cleavage and curves! Remember Peek-a-Boo and Show & Tell are great for pre-school, but is not okay for your clothing (or lack of it)!
The best weapon for modesty is…the tank top or cami! It helps cover cleavage, back, and eliminates see through issues with thin material.Another great wardrobe "staple" are leggings. You can layer them under shorts or skirts.
Have someone else check your clothes before you leave the house! Ask your husband or brother if there is anything they think a guy would find distracting.
Don’t buy based on size…base it on fit…don’t get hung up on what the tag says.
Proverbs 31 woman wore stylish clothing.The bride in Solomon used jewelry Esther spent months undergoing beauty routines. Looking your best is not wrong. but must be for the right reasons.
Go back to the heart tests from the last section – mirror test, wallet test, temple test, gratitude test…How much time and money do I spend on my clothes? Am I dressing appropriately, considering that my body is the temple of God?
Take a look at the way the girls/women are dressed in these pictures. Compare them with the MODEST guidelines above. How could they be made more modest or discreet? If a friend were thinking of buying this what might you say to them?
Remember, we are God’s ambassador. When people see you, they need to see His love and grace shining through. To finish up, I’d like to finish with a
song to remind us that we are made in His image.